Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Still Hoola Hoopin and still sittin on the floor long enough to open 50 gifts from my Mom & Jack!! "There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age " ~ Sophia Loren~
Recently my friend Frances came by the house to gift me with a fabulous birthday present, a painting from her husband I fell in love with the moment I saw it in their Purple-Polka-Dot- House Art Gallery. We sat at the table together with her 90 year old Mother, Matt and myself, told off-color jokes, laughed and smiled sweetly at her 90 year old mother, a Jewish, proper, stern, chalky-faced, unmoving plastic hair, lipstick-wearing woman, did I mention NINETY YEARS OLD? It was a short visit as Mom and daughter had been shopping all afternoon and it was long past time for various medications to ease a variety of symptoms. As we walked to the front door to bid farewell, hugs and kisses, Mom looked me square in the eye and spoke directly into me like it was The Last Time I would see her. She said "Seems like you are doing the right thing here, so may you live to be my age of 90." A bit honored and taken back by her observation I asked inquisitively, "What is your secret?" She simply motioned with her left hand across her right shoulder as if to be brushing off fallen snowflakes, "Honey, just let it roll on by. Don't worry." Don't worry. DON'T WORRY. Don't worry? But it's my job. It's what I do. I worry about my son's insomnia and indigestion, Matt's asthma, Rachel and Emma's reunion, my Mom's diabetes, my brother's ingrown toenail, my nephews learning to drive, W.A.'s cancer, the pain in my wrist, forearm and shoulder, why Ryan & Chris don't return my calls, the cost of a gallon of milk and how will I pay my taxes? I worry about the paint peeling off the upstairs ceiling, the creekhouse and Casa Vistosa. I worry about all the men and women still deployed. I worry about my computer crashing and learning to digital collage someday. I worry about the neighborhood dog that barks all night with the Rooster. I worry about losing the ability to make a great cup of coffee. But now at 50 years old, I have decided to "let it go" like water off a ducks back. Because to tell you the truth, I have plenty of things NOT to worry about that outweigh the above. I am loved at the end and beginning of each and everyday by a marvelous man who stays by my side. I do not worry about Jack, the cost of gasoline, nor the color of my hair. I do not worry about my art, my dusty windows, the shape of my ass or wine-stained jeans. I don't worry about the return of Spring, the magic of fullmoons and the frogs in my pond. I don't worry about my baggy eyes, crooked teeth nor dry skin. I don't worry anymore about the longevity of love, the stability of home and the depth of commitment. I suppose the only thing I have to worry about now is will I reach the age of 90 with grace, health and all my own hair. Deb
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I was born. Today, 50 years later, seems like I am still rebirthing my own life.I have had so many lives already, full, rich, wonderful lives in every sense of those words, yet I continue to re-invent myself and begin living again. Nope, I never did die, but occasionally felt like I was depending on the pain. But all that is history and now I am living life as colorful, painfree and bright as I possibly can! Ya know, when you turn 50 so many friends, old and new, want to celebrate with you. My Isla friends keep looking down that dusty, now paved road to see if my gate is open to come by for a Birthday Beer. My Beaumont friends want the combination to the Creekhouse gate so they can come by for a glass of red wine to sit on the broken deck and watch the water go by and reminisce about all those days gone by. My Bellingham girlfriends want to know why can't I come by for an evening of pizza, art and gossip. My Carmine/RoundTop bunch, including Matt wonder how could I choose to abandon the birthday revelry planned in my honor? But the answer to them all is easily understood, when I admit that the most important gift I could give myself is time spent with my son, Scooter. You see for four years during the time devoted to his career in The Army, we rarely spent much time together, so now when I can grab a few moments with him, I go for it. After all, "it's my party, and I'll go if I want to." So here I am in Vallejo, California with Scooter and Rachel for one week of cooking, laughing, talking, hangin pictures, watching hilarious movies, going to the gym and simple random moments. For now, my life is complete. But I am still looking forward to the next curve in the road, the one that returns me back home to the countryside in Carmine, Texas!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
As the temps dip into the 30's here in Texas, I am shivering and remembering my life in Mexico. Tunes from Jimmy Buffett and Key West are filling the chilly air today as I long to wear a sarong, flips and # 35 SPF. I find myself cruising pictures from those days of the Island Life, warming my heart full of memories. Do I miss it? Hell yes. Of course. But only on cold windy days here, tax season and Houston traffic. Life was simply simple. Raw. Fresh. Hot. Simple. Cheap. Did I mention that my annual taxes totaled $32.oo? Yes, that's a good bottle of wine, or half a tank of gas or maybe a movie date....but never again, all three for $36 USD in the same evening. But little did I know that the wayward SailorBum Matt, would end up landlocked in Central Texas here with me, to warm this old, cold heart. He has brought the sunshine back into my life, even in the dead of Texas winter. He inspires me when creative block sets in. He is always positive when I open yet another tax bill. He works hard to keep this nearly 50 year old heart happy and singing those Island songs once again. Someday he will sail away, but this time with the lighthouse burning bright in Carmine, Texas! The fun picture of me and Matt is the artwork of Dawn Vanderstoep (we are the laughing Mermaids in the other picture) She combined a picture of us taken at Thanksgiving 2007, one she took in Isla summer 2006 and a HUGE bottle of Patron!) Keira Clark and I are kissing for the camera in the first shot! An interesting note about the boat in the background, we saw early one morning the local police take in Cuban refugees from this make-shift boat