Tuesday, February 9, 2010

hard hugs

as we closed our week with Scooter and Rachel, my final hug was the hardest. I cried when I hugged him, I cried when I said goodbye to her, I cried again when he hugged me again with that HUGE beautiful smile. I sobbed when I fell into Matts arms and asked if they had gone so I could let go and begin my journey of strength and courage. It will potentially be one year before I smell his skin again. Those huge arms wrapped about me that assure me that I am an OK Mom. That it will be alright. He says " it won't be like last deployment Mom...this job is easier. It will just be like I am gone for one year." ~WHATEVER~......I can't call him, I can' t get on an airplane for a surprise visit. I just run to the phone when it rings with an unidentified number. I become a Facebook junkie. I buy a video cam and sign on to Skype. I avoid World News. I bug my precious daughter in law for any tidbits of information he sends to her. I am brave and strong...JUST LIKE HIM. That's it. Just like him.~whatever~

7 comments:

Staci Danford said...

Well I don't know how you stood it, because the tears are just rolling down my face.. My heart goes out to you my friend. All I can say is that you have a son we all should be very thankful for. Not very many want to do that job.
AND..
he looks so much like you it is CRAZY wonderful. What a sweet fellow you raised.
Staci

Kim Mailhot said...

Putting big hugs and big love around you as you let go, beautiful brave Deb.

rebecca said...

of course you are shaking the hearts of mothers everywhere. the smell of him, yes. the very smell of him, not to mention that impossibly huge smile. here certainly is your finest creation.
sending you love, comfort and protection.

then, sending you m o r e...
xoxoxo,
r

Approachable Art said...

Hang in there, Deb, hang on with both hands and your heart- it's gonna be OK. :D

Amy said...

I can't imagine. My heart is with you...

sperlygirl said...

and i had tears just reading your post...the strength our military families must muster for each deployment is unreal. know that your son and you, deb, are in our thoughts. sending strength & warmth.
xx
s

Miss Robyn said...

he is so, so much like you. the same eyes, the same smile.
I have a son who is not in any war zone but lives about 12 hours by car. that is hard enough xo